What Unresolved Grief Can Do To you
Loss is a part of humankind. Most people think that only the loss or demise of a loved one results in grief. However, any change in the normal way of things can cause grief. For example, a divorce or the loss of a job are both a change of circumstance that can elicit a sense of grief. Some people even grieve after the sale of their family home.
Whatever your loss, you need not feel embarrassed about your feelings. Grieving over a loss is an acceptable way of dealing with it. Some people, however, fail to reach the acceptance stage of grief, leaving them to suffer from unresolved grief. So, what exactly does unresolved grief entail?
What Is Unresolved Grief?
It is a complex form of grief that is distinguishable from normal grief in three ways. One is that it lasts for a very long time. It could even take several years. Secondly, this kind of grief is deeper and relentless; it worsens with time instead of lessening. Unresolved grief is also different from normal grief in that it meddles with the grieving person’s ability to conduct their daily life normally. Some of the symptoms of unresolved grief include:
· Extreme sadness that worsens with time
· Fatigue and emptiness
· Obsession with the thing or person lost
· Feelings of detachment
· Anxiety
· Self-destructive behavior
Effects of Unresolved Grief
If you suffer from unresolved grief, you may take a long time to recover. Unfortunately, this failure to reach the stage of loss acceptance does more harm than good to you. Some examples of what unresolved grief can do to anyone who suffers it:
It can Lead to Depression
Unresolved grief can cause post-traumatic stress disorder and depression in the long run. This is because the grieving individual is constantly thinking about their loss and they are unable to overcome it. Besides depression, the individual might also develop anxiety, which affects their daily functions negatively.
A Decline in Productivity
When you have unresolved grief, you might feel the need to detach from daily routines. You may find yourself taking leave from work or being an absentee. All that this does is to decrease your productivity and overall performance at work. In extreme circumstances, unresolved grief may decline productivity to the extent of losing a job.
Developmental Challenges
Children and teenagers suffering from unresolved grief are more vulnerable to developmental challenges. They may become highly antisocial and miss out on events or circumstances that are crucial for their development. They could also develop anxiety disorders and depression at an early age, which can hinder their development further.
Marital Strife
The loss of a child to a married couple, for example, could be the beginning of unending marital conflicts and challenges. This is because each of the parents has a different grieving journey. Often, fathers seem to recover from grief faster than mothers. However, this might not be the case because the father could be suppressing their feelings to appear strong on the outside. Such suppressions of feelings could eventually lead to unresolved grief and worsen a couple’s marital problems.
Suicidal Thoughts
When undergoing unresolved grief, you may feel the need to detach yourself. However, it is during isolation when dark thoughts such as ending your life are more likely to invade your mind. It is not unpopular to hear of stories where someone has committed suicide after the death of someone close to them because they could not bear the loss. It is no wonder mortality rates are high among people who have been grieving.
A Decrease in Financial Ability
A decline in productivity and self-isolation means that the grieving person is rarely involved in work that generates income. Furthermore, they may start abusing drugs or other substances in an attempt to feel better and overcome their sadness. These are activities that may lead them to drain their savings. They also deplete their financial ability, which can lead to more stress.
Increased Risks of Cardiovascular Complications
Some scientific studies indicate that heartbreaks caused by loss can weaken a person’s immune system and leave them vulnerable to cardiovascular complications such as heart attacks. The likelihood of these complications is heightened in the case of unresolved grief. A grieving person who detaches themselves may also result in eating junk and letting their health deteriorate, thereby being vulnerable to diseases like obesity.
Dealing with Unresolved Grief
The pain from loss can lead a person to retreat into their shell. It is through such self-isolation that difficult issues like depression and suicidal thoughts occur. The key to coping with unresolved grief is avoiding self-detachment and seeking support. For example, joining a support group can lessen the pain of unresolved grief. Hearing similar stories of others who suffer from unresolved grief can be a source of comfort, and finding someone you can relate to can keep you from isolating yourself.
People who are unable to overcome grief can also seek support or assistance from a grief counselor. An experienced counselor can help you overcome your dark and negative emotions caused by loss.
Dealing with unresolved grief also requires you to draw your family and friends closer rather than avoiding them. They understand you better than anyone. Your friends may know how to draw you from negative feelings or emotions. You should arrange face-to-face meetings with them as a way of taking your mind off your loss.
Also, the key to overcoming unresolved grief is taking care of yourself. Rather than detaching from society, you should maintain as best you can your outings with friends or hobbies you usually enjoy. It is a healthy way of accepting your loss and brings joy back into your life.
Summary
Many people struggle with overcoming loss and end up suffering from unresolved grief. If you have experienced this, the good news is that you can overcome it. The key is to seek support, take good care of yourself, and avoid detaching from your normal routines. Remember that recovering from the depths of unresolved grief starts with you. You can conquer your loss!